;-)
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
It just went away.......
The past two weeks have been filled with excitement, happiness, and sadness. When I had my first ultrasound we found out we were having twins! Everyone was very excited. We saw the two heartbeats and they looked so strong. But then when I had my first appointment with my OB doctor,it was a different story.
We first looked at Baby A and it was moving around and the heartbeat looked great. But then we moved to Baby B and it was not moving. No heartbeat. No movement. It was just ....'asleep'. The doctor was quiet and I finally got the nerve to ask " Is that one OK? I don't see a heartbeat..." It was awkward for the doctor , I could tell. She looked at me and said, it does not look good. She had my sent down to the radiology department where they could get a better look. But after all that, it was confirmed. There was only one baby. It just went away and this happens quite a bit for twins. It's called 'Vanishing Twin Syndrome'. The surviving baby and my body will absorb the nutrients from the baby, so in a way ....these babies will always be together. I think that's beautiful.
Still to this day I am not sure how to feel. Although this is not my child, it is still a part of me and I still feel a tremendous loss. The Intended Parents are wonderful through this. They have told me they have said goodbye to their child and now want me to focus on the one that is still thriving.
So that's what we will do. The IPs have told me that they have said goodbye to their child. I was comforted to hear that. I too have said goodbye to this baby and will move on. No more questions, or blaming myself. I have another baby to take care of ,because his parents are waiting to meet him. (and I am too)
We first looked at Baby A and it was moving around and the heartbeat looked great. But then we moved to Baby B and it was not moving. No heartbeat. No movement. It was just ....'asleep'. The doctor was quiet and I finally got the nerve to ask " Is that one OK? I don't see a heartbeat..." It was awkward for the doctor , I could tell. She looked at me and said, it does not look good. She had my sent down to the radiology department where they could get a better look. But after all that, it was confirmed. There was only one baby. It just went away and this happens quite a bit for twins. It's called 'Vanishing Twin Syndrome'. The surviving baby and my body will absorb the nutrients from the baby, so in a way ....these babies will always be together. I think that's beautiful.
Still to this day I am not sure how to feel. Although this is not my child, it is still a part of me and I still feel a tremendous loss. The Intended Parents are wonderful through this. They have told me they have said goodbye to their child and now want me to focus on the one that is still thriving.
So that's what we will do. The IPs have told me that they have said goodbye to their child. I was comforted to hear that. I too have said goodbye to this baby and will move on. No more questions, or blaming myself. I have another baby to take care of ,because his parents are waiting to meet him. (and I am too)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
And so it begins.....
Morning sickness. Or should I say Morning and evening sickness. Yup for the past week I have noticed a trend. I am feeling sick in the morning as I am trying to get myself and the kids ready for the day. Around 10ish I start feeling better , which is nice since I am at work. But when I get home I notice the sickness coming back. Just in time for dinner and putting the kids to bed. The evening is not too bad since the kids are really good about going to bed. They have a routine so it makes it pretty easy. But it sure is hard to cook dinner when your nauseous. I am thinking that making meals ahead of time are in the cards for me. I am not very good at that but will give it a shot. I know it will be worth it. Hey, maybe I can even get my husband to help!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)