Baby's Heartbeat.

I rented a fetal doppler so that i can hear and record the heartbeat. each time i email the parents with the heartbeat.

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2nd Trimester

We made it! We are officially in the second trimester. I know I am feeling a little more relieved and comfortable with the idea that this pregnancy is a go. I do think that the Ip's feel the same way. The mom has been nervous and cautious for weeks now. But I do think that is washing over and they are both getting used to the idea that 'This is it. They are going to Parents. Their dreams are finally coming true'.

Now the one thing they are asking themselves is the question ALL soon-to-be parents ask themsleves "what are we going to have? Boy or Girl". We will not find out until December when they will fly from Spain to California so that we can meet. I have scheduled a 4D ultrasound with a company here in the area. There the parents will see their child and find out....blue or pink?

As for me, the pregnancy is going smoothly. I am starting to show but I think I am at the stage where people are not sure. Is she pregnant or bloated? :-)
I am feeling the baby "flutter" but yesterday I experienced an actual "kick". It's nice to have everything going smoothly (for once) and this is starting to be a regular pregnancy.

belly pics 11 weeks

This is a spontaneous picture. Next time hair and makeup will be done.
;-)

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It just went away.......

The past two weeks have been filled with excitement, happiness, and sadness. When I had my first ultrasound we found out we were having twins! Everyone was very excited. We saw the two heartbeats and they looked so strong. But then when I had my first appointment with my OB doctor,it was a different story.

We first looked at Baby A and it was moving around and the heartbeat looked great. But then we moved to Baby B and it was not moving. No heartbeat. No movement. It was just ....'asleep'. The doctor was quiet and I finally got the nerve to ask " Is that one OK? I don't see a heartbeat..." It was awkward for the doctor , I could tell. She looked at me and said, it does not look good. She had my sent down to the radiology department where they could get a better look. But after all that, it was confirmed. There was only one baby. It just went away and this happens quite a bit for twins. It's called 'Vanishing Twin Syndrome'. The surviving baby and my body will absorb the nutrients from the baby, so in a way ....these babies will always be together. I think that's beautiful.

Still to this day I am not sure how to feel. Although this is not my child, it is still a part of me and I still feel a tremendous loss. The Intended Parents are wonderful through this. They have told me they have said goodbye to their child and now want me to focus on the one that is still thriving.

So that's what we will do. The IPs have told me that they have said goodbye to their child. I was comforted to hear that. I too have said goodbye to this baby and will move on. No more questions, or blaming myself. I have another baby to take care of ,because his parents are waiting to meet him. (and I am too)

And so it begins.....

Morning sickness. Or should I say Morning and evening sickness. Yup for the past week I have noticed a trend. I am feeling sick in the morning as I am trying to get myself and the kids ready for the day. Around 10ish I start feeling better , which is nice since I am at work. But when I get home I notice the sickness coming back. Just in time for dinner and putting the kids to bed. The evening is not too bad since the kids are really good about going to bed. They have a routine so it makes it pretty easy. But it sure is hard to cook dinner when your nauseous. I am thinking that making meals ahead of time are in the cards for me. I am not very good at that but will give it a shot. I know it will be worth it. Hey, maybe I can even get my husband to help!

Twins!!

Today I saw the tiny heartbeats of TWO perfect babies. Twins! I can't believe it! The blessing that they have been waiting for, will come as a "matching set".

Although I was not there (don't forget, they live in Spain), I imagined how they reacted. I am sure there was an excessive amount of kissing and hugging. How could there not be? They have waited for this day for so long- long before I came into the picture. They have been through so much heartbreak, disappointment and frustration. And now .....well I am sure they are a just able to breathe a sigh of relief. In nine months they will meet the special babies they have waited for for so long. In nine months they will be a mom and dad. In nine months they will be a family. In nine months they are going to be changing ALOT of diapers! Hmmm....maybe I should tell them to start stocking up. (Something tells me they already are)

Cuando usted esta embarazada entonces sere capaz dormir

I am pregnant! It worked. I still can't believe it. I actually found out on Monday. And as I sit in the waiting room to get my blood drawn , I can't stop thinking .....How many are in there. But we will find out soon enough. For now I will be happy knowing that the Intended Parents are expecting. Their dreams are coming true and I am a part of it. I can't express enough how happy and proud I am.
A few months ago I spoke with the IM. Since there is a major time difference I knew she was up very late. By this time we had already had one failed transfer and we were beginning a new cycle. I asked her
why she was up and she told me that she was having trouble sleeping. We talked for a little longer and then I had to go but I said to try and sleep and that we will speak soon. The last thing she said was "Cuando usted esta embarazada entonces sere capaz dormir". This translates to "When you are pregnant, then I will be able to sleep". I was touched. I hope she is sleeping now.

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